AlanisWillow

I'm better. I didn't get the guy that I really liked but instead found one I wasn't even looking for. He's kissing my forehead just because, says I'm gorgeous no matter how many times I tell him he's wrong I get those knots in my stomach that just really drive me insane, I still get that sadness... I say that it can't control my life but some days I just can't help but give into it. Then I kick myself in the ass for it later. It seems like I can't even take it a day at a time, so instead I take it just an hour at a time. I do everything I can to be happy even if it means just sucking it up and putting on a smile. I have to be strong

I knew he had a girlfriend even though not that long ago I wished he didn't. We were walking in the hall to go to the parking lot to his car(He takes me home after school) I noticed he looked sad or angry.. someone who wasn't him. I told him to cheer up and he said,"Me and my girlfriend are breaking up..." I stood there opened mouthed.. I wish for this day when I learned that I was falling for him.(Thing is that I had to get over him so I met my boyfriend...) We finally got to his car after me trying to cheer him up and get him to smile and laugh over something stupid. The car ride felt like forever.( but really only 5mins or so at the max)

We talk everyday. He has already served his country but there is still that voice in my head that makes me wonder.. What if he has to go over seas again?? What if he wants too.. I wouldn't stop him but I wouldn't be thrilled by the idea either... We haven't been together very long but I still get these thoughts in my head and they scare me to death sometimes. What if he doesn't make it back this time....